I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
