She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She bit a glass in half.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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