just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
