Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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