At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
