I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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