My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
