you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
