the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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