At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
