Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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