i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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