I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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