what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize