I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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