and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
