My sheets look like a crime scene.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
