But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
