I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
