I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
