Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
