dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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