Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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