i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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