I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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