So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
