How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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