I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
