I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
