i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
