mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and she was petting her beer can
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
