12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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