chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is my gift to your gina
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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