my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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