it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
