so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
