Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize