I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
