the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You are a booty call, not a friend.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
