ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
