Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This is my gift to your gina
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
