therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dick very happy bro
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
