I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
