so that wasnt chicken after all
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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