yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
