You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
