So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
