people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Less talking, more tequila
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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