Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
