Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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