I think i peed on brittanys purse
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
