Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
