someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
