WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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