He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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