Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
