She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize