He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
