You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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