Don't you send me to vm
i think my mom watched the whole time
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
