what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
