I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
