his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
