party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The feeling are messing with the penis
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
