i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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