The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
