I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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