South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Pants are for mortals
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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